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| Task Achievement: | Coherence and Cohesion: | Lexical Resource: | Grammatical Range and Accuracy: |
|---|---|---|---|
| The article addresses the topic and discusses both views effectively. The writer also provides their own opinion on the matter. However, the arguments could be more developed and supported with examples. | The essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs and logical progression of ideas. However, some sentences could be better connected to improve the overall flow. | The writer uses a range of vocabulary, including some less common words and phrases. However, there are some minor errors and inappropriate word choices. | The writer demonstrates a variety of grammatical structures, but there are some errors and awkward constructions. |
| Band: 6 | Band: 6 | Band: 6 | Band: 6 |
Overall Band: 6 | |||
There is a wide spectrum of discussion about who should afford pay for health services, governments or individuals. While it is reasonable to say that one should pay for what he or she consumed, governments, however, cannot ignore the support to health services in the sense it is important for social welfare and social stability.
Let us first look at the oppositions arguments against free health services. Clearly, free health services benefit the poor more. People in poverty are necessary not necessarily to have an unhealthy tendency, however, they are indeed at a higher risk to encounter an unaffordable health service. Considering that wealthy people might always be capable of the health care, is it fair for them to pay for the “insurance” together with other people even if they do not need it?
Proponents of free health services had have provided a convincing opposition counterargument to the former argument. A famous economist, Chu, proposed a solid reasoning to advocate free healthcare: Imaging Imagine that, when we were all in the heaven before being delivered to the world. At that time, we did not know who were would be going to be born as the haves and who were would be going to be the have-nots. Suppose that there existed a contract that required everyone who signed it to pay and be protected by the free health care together, it is obvious that any rational person will sign it, for the sake of freeing himself from the risk to become the have-nots. This implies that subjectively, everyone agrees free health care is what they are willing to pay for.
Though the fairness of free health care had has been justified by Chu, nevertheless, there are still problems with it. Free health care could generate the abuse of health services. Before applying it, further rumination is needed. I personally prefer the current policy of Australia which citizens should pay for limited fee for minor health problems to avoid abuses. Higher level of health services can be free yet requires a reference prescribed by a doctor.
Original sentence: People in poverty are necessary to have an unhealthy tendency, however, they are indeed at a higher risk to encounter an unaffordable health service.
Try to write like this: People in poverty do not necessarily have an unhealthy tendency, but they are indeed at a higher risk of encountering unaffordable health services.
Advanced writing for reference: Although individuals living in poverty do not inherently exhibit unhealthy tendencies, they are undeniably at a greater risk of facing unaffordable health services.
Original sentence: Considering that wealthy people might always be capable of the health care, is it fair for them to pay for the “insurance” together with other people even if they do not need it?
Try to write like this: Considering that wealthy people might always be capable of affording health care, is it fair for them to pay for the “insurance” along with others even if they do not need it?
Advanced writing for reference: Taking into account that affluent individuals may consistently possess the means to afford health care, is it equitable for them to contribute to the “insurance” alongside others, even if it is unnecessary for their own needs?
Original sentence: I personally prefer the current policy of Australia which citizens should pay for limited fee for minor health problems to avoid abuses.
Try to write like this: I personally prefer the current policy in Australia where citizens pay a limited fee for minor health problems to avoid abuses.
Advanced writing for reference: My personal preference aligns with Australia's existing policy, which requires citizens to contribute a nominal fee for minor health issues in order to circumvent potential abuses.